Thursday, July 30, 2009
Little blurp about Trust
Fromt he article Reasons to ‘unfriend’ your spouse on Facebook by Ian Kerner, Ph.D.I recently went to the playground with my 3-year old son, Beckett, and watched as he ran off on his own to explore and play — but not without looking back at the bench to make sure I was still there. If I do my job right as a parent, there will come a day when he won’t need to look over his shoulder and check to see if I’m there. He’ll be able to live his own life and just know that I’m there. Which is the same way I feel about my relationship with my wife. The more we trust each other to live our own lives, the more there is to share with each other.*i just love that part!, it's so true and it's what i want, no jealousy, confidence that i will be true to my mate, secureness what a turn on!*you can find the article at http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/32191225/?gt1=43001
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Not Into You Chap 2
He’s Just Not That Into You by Greg and Liz
Chap 2: He’s just not that into you if he’s not calling you. Men know how to use the phone.
Greg note: We like taking a break from our generally mundane day to talk to someone we like. If men are into you, you would be the bright spot in a horrible busy day. When you like someone, they don’t just slip your mind. If they are into you they actually do what they said they were going to do. We have become a sloppy bunch of people. We say things we don’t mean. We make promises we don’t keep and we know we do. We now don’t even expect people to keep their word. Saying he is busy, too busy to call, is another way to tell you that he’s not into you. The word “busy” in the relationship weapon of mass destruction. Remember: Mean are never too busy to get what they want.
Liz note: We get it. Guys should be attentive and thoughtful. But when we meet the one guy who really does have the prefect excuse for being a flake and since we like him so damn much we want to cut them some slack.
It’s hard to know when to cut lose and move on. He forgets to call me one night –am I supposed to just dump him? He forgets to call me three times- is that when I dump him?
Just try to notice when a guy’s behavior starts making you feel bad about yourself- when you are in constant state of uneasiness and crying. Meeting someone you like and dating him is supposed to make you feel better, not worse. No matter what the special circumstances/excuses are.
Dea note: I do agree with him on this. I’m a very busy girl and I do make sure guys know that, although sometimes it is very hard to call someone if I’m on a shoot, but there are always breaks and so if I care about the person I always try to call them back. If I miss someone, no matter how busy I am, I always think of them and like to talk to them, I even talk to them when I’m working on something. So I expect that if someone is into me that they do make the time for me like I make the time for them, no matter how busy and crazy life gets. Thank goodness for the invention of voicemail, it’s there for a reason! Sometimes my phone doesn’t ring (due to service problems, beyond my control) and I get a message saying I have voicemail (and I never not gotten the message saying I have it), so even if they don’t answer leave a message! Use it. I also hate to have someone I’m dating call me everyday, emails fine cuz it gives me something to read and do at work when I’m bored, space is important to me, only if we have been serious for a long while makes me want to talk to them everyday.
They even polled more info on this subject 100% of the men said they are never too busy to call a woman they were really into.
Chap 2: He’s just not that into you if he’s not calling you. Men know how to use the phone.
Greg note: We like taking a break from our generally mundane day to talk to someone we like. If men are into you, you would be the bright spot in a horrible busy day. When you like someone, they don’t just slip your mind. If they are into you they actually do what they said they were going to do. We have become a sloppy bunch of people. We say things we don’t mean. We make promises we don’t keep and we know we do. We now don’t even expect people to keep their word. Saying he is busy, too busy to call, is another way to tell you that he’s not into you. The word “busy” in the relationship weapon of mass destruction. Remember: Mean are never too busy to get what they want.
Liz note: We get it. Guys should be attentive and thoughtful. But when we meet the one guy who really does have the prefect excuse for being a flake and since we like him so damn much we want to cut them some slack.
It’s hard to know when to cut lose and move on. He forgets to call me one night –am I supposed to just dump him? He forgets to call me three times- is that when I dump him?
Just try to notice when a guy’s behavior starts making you feel bad about yourself- when you are in constant state of uneasiness and crying. Meeting someone you like and dating him is supposed to make you feel better, not worse. No matter what the special circumstances/excuses are.
Dea note: I do agree with him on this. I’m a very busy girl and I do make sure guys know that, although sometimes it is very hard to call someone if I’m on a shoot, but there are always breaks and so if I care about the person I always try to call them back. If I miss someone, no matter how busy I am, I always think of them and like to talk to them, I even talk to them when I’m working on something. So I expect that if someone is into me that they do make the time for me like I make the time for them, no matter how busy and crazy life gets. Thank goodness for the invention of voicemail, it’s there for a reason! Sometimes my phone doesn’t ring (due to service problems, beyond my control) and I get a message saying I have voicemail (and I never not gotten the message saying I have it), so even if they don’t answer leave a message! Use it. I also hate to have someone I’m dating call me everyday, emails fine cuz it gives me something to read and do at work when I’m bored, space is important to me, only if we have been serious for a long while makes me want to talk to them everyday.
They even polled more info on this subject 100% of the men said they are never too busy to call a woman they were really into.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
He’s Just Not That Into You Chap 1
He’s Just Not That Into You by Greg and Liz
Greg note: He is a man made up entirely of your excuses and the moment you stop making excuses for him, he will disappear from your life.
People are inspired to do remarkable things to find and be with the one they love. Every relationship you admire burst with a greatness that you hope for in your own life. The more you value yourself, the more chance you’ll have of getting it.
Dea note: If you have to make excuses for a guy’s behavior it is time to move on! He’s not into you and it’s time you stop wasting time with him and find someone who is into you. Take a step back and ask yourself if you are really into him or not.
Chapter One
Greg note: He’s just not that into you if he’s not asking you out. Because if he likes you he will ask you out.
Men find it very satisfying to get what they want. If they want you, they will find you.
Dea note: I have to wonder why women these days are getting back to the old fashion ways of dating. Waiting for the guy to make the move or call or make the date. So they wait around and never here from the guy cuz he’s not into you or maybe the women don’t show their interest. If you are into him, make the call, I saw if you don’t make the move then you must not be into him too! I refuse to wait around for a guy, if I’m interested in him I would make the move, if I’m not interested in him then I don’t give a hoot about dating him at all.
Greg note: When a guy tells you to call him, it’s a trick to get you to ask him out so that he can be the one in control, to turn you down. When men want you, they do the work. When men like women, they ask them out.
Dea note: Ok yeah that makes sense. But I still stick to my note above. Ask them out if you are into them and if they don’t return your call or take you up on it or cancel it then move on and don’t ask them again or expect them to ask you out and don’t wait for them to call move on.
I was in that boat once, I gave someone who I thought was into me my number and guess what he never called, I made up excuses after excuses, the next few times I saw him (saw him once a year at a con) I was with someone, last April I was going to talk to him but then he just disappeared and I didn’t see him at the con, then I got an email from his sister saying he did remember me and would pass my email on (and that was almost 2yrs I had wrote her on a whim) and no email. I could have made up more excuses why he didn’t contact me but I decided to move on, he’s not that into me, I made my move, maybe there was some misunderstanding but oh well, I’ve got better things to do and I want to find someone who is into me who would take my advances and contact me!
Greg note: Men for the most part, like to pursue women. They like not knowing if we can catch you. They feel rewarded when they do.
Dea note: Ok this was said after a girl had told him she likes to call guys and thinks its dump that females are not supposed to call men. She asks him “why do you think we can’t call guys and ask them out?” He answers by saying they don’t like it, oh but some guys might! But oh those are the lazy ones.
I do not like this book so much anymore. Maybe it’s cuz it’s only good for a woman who hasn’t figured out this shit and is a desperate woman.
I am not going to give up how I feel and how I like to handle things. I still stick by my notes to make the move if you are into them cuz most times it takes a date or two to know if I’m into them or not. If I’m into them then I will ask them to do things with me and if they can’t then ok, onto someone else. That simple. I wait for no one!
Greg note: The unfortunate truth when dealing with men if you have to be the aggressor, if women have to pursue, if they have to do the asking out, he’s just not that into you.
Liz note: You telling us that we have to just sit around and wait? I find that infuriating. I spent my life making things happen for myself. But Greg is telling us to do absolutely nothing. We’re just supposed to put on our little black dresses and do our hair and bat our eyes and hope they choose us! It’s hard doing nothing. But since she’s put the “he’s just not into you” philosophy, she has found herself more powerful. Because if the men are asking you out, the men have to get your attention, then you are the one in control. No scheming or plotting.
Dea note: Hmmmm…In the last year I haven’t bothered with guys in the dating aspect at all cuz I care more about friendship and my family and my hobbies. I know guys have asked me out and for the most part I turn them down (I just don’t date guys from myspace). I haven’t found anyone worth dating so in a way I think I have just waited and done my own thing and guess what no one in real life has noticed me. But I’m happy and fine with being single so I don’t care. I just want to say why can’t there be a balance to this asking out or calling, it just depends on the situation. I’m all about that balance.
HNIY note: a poll of twenty male friends (from age 26-45) who have been in a serious long term relationship all of them had made the first move , not one of them started with the relationship where the woman asked them out.
Dea note: At the end of the chapter it asks that you write down five reasons why you should call him, wait, and then ask yourself: Do I seem pathetic? Do I not trust myself that I am hot? Put the dialing finger away and go have some fun. That just rubs me the wrong way. Yes it is pathetic when women cling onto a man and go crazy over when is he going to call when they should just move on, but I don’t call a guy cuz I’m pathetic I call them cuz I’m into them! If it ever got to the point where they didn’t call me back or wanted to go out then I move on. But still, if I like them I will make the move. Yes I want the guy to make the move and I wish I could just wait, but hey I’ve got plans and if I want someone to join me that I am into then I will invite them. I think I’m going to enjoy reading “Be Honest: You’re Just Not That Into Him” much more than this book.
If waiting and letting the man make the first move means that you will have a good lasting relationships and if a female makes the first move on a guy then I guess I’m going to never have a successful relationship. Wait a minute, about 90% of my relationships the guys are the one who chased me and made the first move and guess how badly it went once I did let them catch me. Fuck that shit! OK new thing to add to my book of guy requirements, if he is turned off by me making the first move (or calling him or asking him out period) then he isn’t the one for me! and Good riddance to them!
Greg note: He is a man made up entirely of your excuses and the moment you stop making excuses for him, he will disappear from your life.
People are inspired to do remarkable things to find and be with the one they love. Every relationship you admire burst with a greatness that you hope for in your own life. The more you value yourself, the more chance you’ll have of getting it.
Dea note: If you have to make excuses for a guy’s behavior it is time to move on! He’s not into you and it’s time you stop wasting time with him and find someone who is into you. Take a step back and ask yourself if you are really into him or not.
Chapter One
Greg note: He’s just not that into you if he’s not asking you out. Because if he likes you he will ask you out.
Men find it very satisfying to get what they want. If they want you, they will find you.
Dea note: I have to wonder why women these days are getting back to the old fashion ways of dating. Waiting for the guy to make the move or call or make the date. So they wait around and never here from the guy cuz he’s not into you or maybe the women don’t show their interest. If you are into him, make the call, I saw if you don’t make the move then you must not be into him too! I refuse to wait around for a guy, if I’m interested in him I would make the move, if I’m not interested in him then I don’t give a hoot about dating him at all.
Greg note: When a guy tells you to call him, it’s a trick to get you to ask him out so that he can be the one in control, to turn you down. When men want you, they do the work. When men like women, they ask them out.
Dea note: Ok yeah that makes sense. But I still stick to my note above. Ask them out if you are into them and if they don’t return your call or take you up on it or cancel it then move on and don’t ask them again or expect them to ask you out and don’t wait for them to call move on.
I was in that boat once, I gave someone who I thought was into me my number and guess what he never called, I made up excuses after excuses, the next few times I saw him (saw him once a year at a con) I was with someone, last April I was going to talk to him but then he just disappeared and I didn’t see him at the con, then I got an email from his sister saying he did remember me and would pass my email on (and that was almost 2yrs I had wrote her on a whim) and no email. I could have made up more excuses why he didn’t contact me but I decided to move on, he’s not that into me, I made my move, maybe there was some misunderstanding but oh well, I’ve got better things to do and I want to find someone who is into me who would take my advances and contact me!
Greg note: Men for the most part, like to pursue women. They like not knowing if we can catch you. They feel rewarded when they do.
Dea note: Ok this was said after a girl had told him she likes to call guys and thinks its dump that females are not supposed to call men. She asks him “why do you think we can’t call guys and ask them out?” He answers by saying they don’t like it, oh but some guys might! But oh those are the lazy ones.
I do not like this book so much anymore. Maybe it’s cuz it’s only good for a woman who hasn’t figured out this shit and is a desperate woman.
I am not going to give up how I feel and how I like to handle things. I still stick by my notes to make the move if you are into them cuz most times it takes a date or two to know if I’m into them or not. If I’m into them then I will ask them to do things with me and if they can’t then ok, onto someone else. That simple. I wait for no one!
Greg note: The unfortunate truth when dealing with men if you have to be the aggressor, if women have to pursue, if they have to do the asking out, he’s just not that into you.
Liz note: You telling us that we have to just sit around and wait? I find that infuriating. I spent my life making things happen for myself. But Greg is telling us to do absolutely nothing. We’re just supposed to put on our little black dresses and do our hair and bat our eyes and hope they choose us! It’s hard doing nothing. But since she’s put the “he’s just not into you” philosophy, she has found herself more powerful. Because if the men are asking you out, the men have to get your attention, then you are the one in control. No scheming or plotting.
Dea note: Hmmmm…In the last year I haven’t bothered with guys in the dating aspect at all cuz I care more about friendship and my family and my hobbies. I know guys have asked me out and for the most part I turn them down (I just don’t date guys from myspace). I haven’t found anyone worth dating so in a way I think I have just waited and done my own thing and guess what no one in real life has noticed me. But I’m happy and fine with being single so I don’t care. I just want to say why can’t there be a balance to this asking out or calling, it just depends on the situation. I’m all about that balance.
HNIY note: a poll of twenty male friends (from age 26-45) who have been in a serious long term relationship all of them had made the first move , not one of them started with the relationship where the woman asked them out.
Dea note: At the end of the chapter it asks that you write down five reasons why you should call him, wait, and then ask yourself: Do I seem pathetic? Do I not trust myself that I am hot? Put the dialing finger away and go have some fun. That just rubs me the wrong way. Yes it is pathetic when women cling onto a man and go crazy over when is he going to call when they should just move on, but I don’t call a guy cuz I’m pathetic I call them cuz I’m into them! If it ever got to the point where they didn’t call me back or wanted to go out then I move on. But still, if I like them I will make the move. Yes I want the guy to make the move and I wish I could just wait, but hey I’ve got plans and if I want someone to join me that I am into then I will invite them. I think I’m going to enjoy reading “Be Honest: You’re Just Not That Into Him” much more than this book.
If waiting and letting the man make the first move means that you will have a good lasting relationships and if a female makes the first move on a guy then I guess I’m going to never have a successful relationship. Wait a minute, about 90% of my relationships the guys are the one who chased me and made the first move and guess how badly it went once I did let them catch me. Fuck that shit! OK new thing to add to my book of guy requirements, if he is turned off by me making the first move (or calling him or asking him out period) then he isn’t the one for me! and Good riddance to them!
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