DBP Chapter Seven

Don't Bet On the Prince by Dr. Gilda Carle
Chapter Seven
Enjoy Being Home Alone
Gilda-Gram: We attract not who we want but who we are.
Life is about learning. Learning is about change. Love changes are challenging because two lives that were once separate become interdependent.
A woman must put such effort into herself before she falls in love. She should ask for what she needs as she believes she deserves to get it.
Couples must recognize their differences yet somehow maintain their individuality. Most women abandon their individuality early on in the face of love.
Even when you are in a happy and devoted relationship, you must find time to enjoy your own company. Being alone teaches you to come to grips with the power of one. Time alone is necessary at every stage of relationships to ensure your individualism stays intact.
Gilda-Gram: You are the only person who will never abandon you.
Treat yourself well. Place your needs high on your list of necessities.
Life can be miserable when you are living with a man you can’t trust. Women must recognize the signs; take time to clarify the signals. When you realize that you can live your life without a man, you can negotiate your differences with one. Men come and go, it is you who are constantly there and you on whom you must focus.
Gilda-Gram: If you plan to love someone, recognize he could someday be gone.
Relationships don’t have to last forever to be profitable. From each we learn another lesson and grow another step.
Gilda-Gram: Love at first sight is lust with potential. But we need time alone to sort it through.
You must be your primary passion, make the woman in the mirror your passion. Recognize your hearts desires and see that you honor them.
Being alone induces clarity of mind to acknowledge what it is we long for.
Recognize that no one can make us whole.
Gilda-Gram: At times, it’s necessary to be a single bookend.
Discover who you are, what you want, where you are going. Serve yourself first. There is only one way to count, and that is by counting yourself. We must accept who we are with the freedom to be ourselves; otherwise we are living a lie. When you give yourself your own goodwill, you are getting your own castle in order, rather than waiting to be swept off into some prince’s.
Gilda-Gram: 1) To ignore our past is to repeat our past. 2) Even if you’re a couple, you’re always a person away from being single.
Only date men who can enhance you life, not pull you down. To achieve intimacy, we must love ourselves and be ourselves before we meld ourselves with someone else.
Gilda-Gram: To be a good we, first become a good me.
Understand that you are fine as is; you can get on with your life –with or without a man.
By assessing your misguided loves, you are guarding against repeating bad relationships. One door closes and a bigger door opens.
Gilda-Gram: 1) My next mistakes will be new mistakes. 2) All good things come to those who plant. 3) What we fight to get, we fight to keep.
Patience is the only courage we need. Believing is seeing. When you believe something, you will see it manifested.
Gilda-Gram: 1) My relationship should support my self, not sap it. 2) We attract not who we want but who we are. 3) An attitude of abundance repels a mentality of scarcity.
When we accentuate the positives, we will attract positive men.

*I get asked a lot by guys how come I’m single and of course they ask me out via myspace…I just put my head on the table. Yes I may be hot, and I have both the girly side and the boyish side, so generally I’m an odd find and a lot of guys dig that I’m a little bit of both. I can come up with a million reasons why I am single and I can re-word them a billion of times. But what it comes down to is: the reason I am single is because I choose to be. When I want to be in a relationship I will be and I would make the move. It doesn’t matter how awesome your myspace page may be, that won’t impress me, I need to see the person and see how they are since actions speak louder than words, and using just a short sentence that is way too vague will not get me to write. Come on people! If you actually want to have a chance with me then go into things I like to talk about and ask questions about that!! But nope, no one pays attention to what I write or else they would know that I won’t date anyone from myspace!! I’m happy in my freedom and I choose to be single!! I’m not lonely or miserable! And I have when people think that because you are alone that you are miserable. I’ve been more miserable in relationships than not. I don’t think I’m alone either. I have God, myself, and my family. They are the ones who enrich my life and have given me the love I deserve. I’m finding out who I am, loving myself, accepting myself, being myself, and enjoying my single-hood. I can live my life without a partner, I will choose when I want to be with someone. I have control of my own life. I choose to be single.*